with a positive, there's always a negative somewhere; with a yes, there might just lie a no to counter it somewhere, sometime. perhaps life is just as fair that. having had a lucky day yesterday, today was a bad bad day.
1) my skin aggravated (okay, that not something new)
2) my file dropped (this isnt something happening, until it caused...)
3) a shit droplet on my hair (yeah, attributing to the few steps that i slowed down just before)
4) i missed a very impt lect (i simply had to 'wash' my hair you see)
5) my dinner appmt was cancelled (argh, i hate eating alone /..\ )
6) i got news that there are no more S size hall player shirt (sobs. whywhy? the shirt is so niceeee)
7) no more papaya! (hahaha! craving ahh)
8) i 'locked' myself out of my block (when i cleverly left the access card in my room -_- )
yeah, thats all till now. hopefully end of story. however surprisingly, iM not in a bad mood. nah.. maybe just abit disappointed that the hall pres forgot to keep an S size shirt for me.
its a bad day, its a strange day.
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin on
i've just reaslised these are the lyrics to that song. no doubt this song is nice, but it does not seem to have the long lasting 'nice' effect >.<
falling to pieces everytime. i wonder how much i've changed. lets just talk about these 4 years since jC. yep, i've definitely experienced much much more than i had before that. in meeting different people, forming different friendships, going through different experiences in life - they do mould us into a stronger and better person, dont they? yet why can't i feel much of a difference from who i was 4 years ago.
at this point of time, the only change that i can think of is that iM more cautious of people and less thrifty, which is good coZ i was prolly overly thrifty in the past XD but reflecting upon my ownself, i don't seem to see any improvement in my 'sensitivity'. plus i dont seem to be opening up to others any much more. and is my attitude bad?
the last sentence came as a flashback of that thought that i had when i was chatting with racH on tues. just like me, she's an only child, and she mentioned how bad her attitude and mentality had been before she entered uni and accepted Christ. she related how 'terrible' she was, and how it kept her friends away from her.
truefully speeking, i really couldnt imagine how this nice sweet girl sitting just across me can be what she described herself to be in the past. well, that was just 4 years ago. sitting down calmly now infront of my lappy, i just wonder if i had/have factors of her past. i meant, does those bad points reside in me as well?
well, i dont think of those stuff for no special reason. special? no, not really perhaps, i just find that these 3 friends whom i've been out with last July have ALL drifted from me. you know, the thing is that the 3 of them still goes out tog, but they do not bother calling me along. not that it matters much now, but we were all, the 7 of us, a clique. this split is getting more and more sever. no, this is still not the point, i just get the feeling that they're colding me. not the other 3, but just that 3. it had been since during the trip. no, that iM not being paranoid about. its really the case. i dont wish to elaborate what happened or what made me feel so. its just that when your closer friends have these reactions to you, it gets you really anxious and sets you thinking more. and more and more, when i feel that iM already thinking too much.
hahaHahaA! - the laugh i needed. but save me please. free me from this troubled mind T.T
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin on
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