20.07.2007

20072007 . nice number right.. there is also another nice number for this year , 07.07.07 . but it does not mean just as much.

this holiday has been hectic for me.. gotta catch up with scool studies right after my 10 days work ended.. and iM still chasing after the lessons. argH* there was this night (dawn) before my ystd's lesson that i slept at only 3.30am when iM supposed to wake up and be in school by 9.30am. damn sad lah, i spend the entire 'rest' day at home studying accounting and i still wasnt able to understand everything and complete my tutorial practice. that's like only 5 qns per practice! argH* of course i was alittle late for the morning project meeting, but i had only managed to sleep 4.5 hours! no, that's not sleep esply when its not even deep. its a nap! haiX -_-

and despite having only a small rest time the dawn before ystd, i had a long day out to find presents. yes, 21st year pressie. 2 celeBs lining straight up this wkend. oh well, it might be late to buy it just few days before, but at least we manage to catch it before the GST increase. ahhh! its an expensive item, so that's why cannot bare that GST increase wor. hehehe! not so lucky for mine though >.<

gratitude. that's something you usually show your friend during their birthdays. what about normal days? like a quick sms from/to your childhood friend to say that you're missed, an occasional phone call by/to friends you seldom contact, an email from/to your oversea friend, initiation of a meet up by/with people you seldom meet, and etc.

but seriously, how many of you actually does that? it goes 2 ways, and it shouldnt be the case that it is always that one person who is asking for a meetup or planning for a gathering. thinking back, i take on different roles in different circle of friends. think about it, does sitting back and waiting for others to take action in contacting you means that you do not treasure the friendship? not necessarily, there's space for everyone to debate regarding this. for me, sometimes iM plain lazy, or i might be too busy, or i might be thinking that others will take on the role of contacting. or, i might just not be close to the person.

does the friends around us appreciate these actions of simple rememberance? at least i do. a 'junior' of mine recently came back from Taiwan for holiday. though we had not contacted for some months, this friend still remembered that i had asked for a book from Taiwan even when i had forgotten abt his trip. there is this other friend who asked for a meetup the night before flying off for some trip even when the luggage is still unpacked. and there is also this friend whom we had took turns to ask each other out in the month before this person goes on a semester-long overseas exchange prog. i remember once, we were lost at night in the midst of finding some eatery. memories that will bring through the period when this friend is not around. it's really regretible that we are not able to meet up once again before the person leaves, but it is enough considering that we met up afew times in 1 month despite not having met up at all in the past 1+ years. yes, we caught up with one another before the distance will prolly start drawing again. anyway. it means just as much when a person is willing to spend one of their few hours with you before leaving. and its really delights me when i know that someone remembers what you say from months ago. and even moreso, friends who buys you things when they're on a holiday. note, it is not the things they buy that matter, it is the simple point that they remembers you even as they're enjoying. even if it means just to drop of an email or sms, or writing a letter and send to your friend back in your homeland. it sounds simple, but how many of you will be willing to spend that effort? have any of you even thought of it? well, it may acutally be more tedious than buying a souvenir for them. but imagine receiving a pleasant surprise. it means alot to the receiving party, wouldn't it?

yesterday as i was out, i received web smSes (yes, starhub provides free) from my mum to tell me that iM missed. so sweet of her =) but how many times do i call home when iM out, just to tell them that they're missed? i feel so bad.

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it sounds abit wrong considering that "catching up" is a term used on friends who rarely meet and has alot to chat and update about, but anyway, its good to have caught up with each other before this friend flies off.

have fun and take care!

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啄木鸟 - 两个女生

我小心翼翼默背
每句你的话语
寻找一丝爱的证据
多么疲惫的游戏

只想讨你欢心
忘了照顾我自己

第一次看的电影
记得是个悲剧
你没看见我的眼泪
大步走在我前面

我没有怪你粗心
那一夜就该体会
你不懂女人的心

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I Believe You. I love you. I have decipher the code. :)

I'm sorrie if I say anything wrong... u will still come for the appointment won't u? Let me fetch you on that day, okie? Only you can help yourself. come on, reply a yes... Vent your thoughts to others please... it's the only way out. Ease your illusions! Let me help... You've gonna come for it! Only you... yourself can help yourself... Understanding yourself is most important...

An excerpt from a book that i read some time ago. there's supposed to be some kind of message in those writings, as according to what the male character in the book claims to the female character. looks familia huh, dudes =P and as i was clearing my phone of messages, i came across this message that my friend sent me regarding that. I did not understand how writing on a paper can help to decipher it (as claimed in the book), but anyway, my friend claimed to have broken the code, and sent me that. and if you got to know or i just had to say, that for just that while, my heart raced.

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I am really pissed. just the 2nd day back from the camp and I've already that so many things have fallen apart.

Committee. oh please, what is going on. this section has only 4 person including me, and there can still be a break down in communication. In the 10 days that I was away, i received no updates even tho i had explicitly stated that I will have NO internet access and sms is too slow a form of communication. no one updated me that an excutive summary + budget is supposed to be in by 15th. no one bothered to explore into other ideas after the first had been rejected. thanks alot. although things have gotten back to path now, work delegated once again, but I just had to say that the team is soOoo efficient. I'm really sorry if anyone within the comm has to hear this. Prolly I'm just too worked up that people always tend to procrastinate work. haix.

School. yeah, I'm indirectly threatened by the course 'mistress' on the course site that i might be de-registered as I had missed the first week of inter-semester lessons. argh. iM so damn worried lah. dugged her email her and sent her an email to seek 'repentence and forgiveness'. hahaha! ok, but basically what i asked for is to Not be removed from the course. brRrr* scared.

Family. ok, just had to add something else the 2 points above doesnt seem to justify the word "many" that I had mentioned in the very first para. my poor wanG² vormitted thrice today, and vormitted the day before as well. poor thing. he barely had Any food the whole of today.

Camp. ok, there are too many things to mention about. not only do i have disappointment at some of the people in the camp (i emphasize some, not 1, so its not huat u might be thinking) , I am even more disappointed at myself. I probably did not mention, but these 2 camps affected me alot.

but one cheerful thing that happened on the last of the 10 days was that as a participant dropped by to find me as she collected some other stuff. Her mum was with her, and she said that her girl was so much more energized after seeing me. it made it even more meaningful to me coZ she's not my kid. that small effort of appreciation really touched me alot, judging that I had but could not tear for TTP even tho my kids were basically out of control. okay, that's not the point. but right back to reality after that hugging and quick talk, I really felt really discouraged by the end results of the 2nd batch of kids. haiX.

i'm really tired. i shld have slpt 3 hrs ago, but settling all those stuff made me really wanna blog tonight. pearL ah, sorry i still haven reply ur email. we meet up some time after ur working hours k..? >.<

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afterall, a photographer will always live up to his name. The cake is just as delicious as it looks =) met up with my junior college classmates ystd.. was rather disappointed that only 2/3 of those who promised to come did manage to turn up. oh well, i did my best /..\

as i was clearing my phone of rubbish messages just moments ago, I came across all those messages and pictures that I had since some time ago.. 喜唰唰! so many memories. so many people whom i miss. where have you all gone to?!

iM quite tired, considering that i had to be in school by 8am this morning (apart from the side point that i was still alittle late), and i will have to be up by 5.30am tml morning, i should be in bed an hour ago. but but, iM still preparing for the 10 days of SK. rawr! no accomodation and strict laws. aww. can i buy time to sleep? >.<

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wonderful.. iM talking to an unknown XYZ person on my blog. loL~

life hasnt been easy for everyone.. and many a times, u'll prolly find yourself constrained by pressures that can take any/many forms either externally or internally. in those times, u know that u will not be able to pursue what u would otherwise love to. who could have not experienced that?

that's right. sometimes in life, u somehow just have to be poked at. iM sorry my dear friend, but i have to admit iM really quite irritated by what u did today. which explains my turn-off attitude. if anything, iM sorry. but i guess i had to go to some extreme to show that iM really pissed. i hope u caught it well. i know u have good reasons in the times u called me that, but when u do not get the situation right, please refrain from using that term. once twice or thrice is alright. but when u that see iM going to blow up, esply when the external situation is already so nerve-wrecking, to all my friends, please stop testing my patience. i roar! and at 10.34pm i just roared. whether people mean it that way or not, iM very sensitive to the tone, voice & attitude that people use. argh ok sorry.

phew. iM alright =) the day ended really good (except for that roar). no one can buy my memory now! (sSssh) lalalala~ yay! ;)

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...

take in a deep breath

...

exhale

...

tomorrow will a better day

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Smile at each other,
Smile at your wife,
Smile at your husband,
Smile at your children,
Smile at each other.
- it doesn't matter who it is
- and that will help you grow up in greater love for each other.

Mother Teresa

Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it. Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life...

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S.K. 1 . 2007

the 2nd day break from camp. whew, its been so long since iM that shag out. but surprisingly, my dark circles have not grown to be too bad considering that i had barely 6 hrs of sleep per day >.<>

the coaches there really are great people and i had formed quite some friendships there. their trademark is to show appreciation and the hugging of people, which made me felt really warm and welcomed. but but, just at the last day, i received feedbacks that i am really damn quiet on the first day (and prolly still alittle on the 2nd). hey, i've gotta justify that iM the type of person who likes to observe new environments instead of plunging right down and risking chances of using the wrong/undesired coaching methods. oh well, the PD also mentioned that they ( i wonder who's involved ) were to try all methods to get me to open up. oh. and that immediately got me to wonder if the warmness i felt from those experienced coaches are not really sincere friendship. you can say that it bothers me quite abit, coZ i will need to reassess myself on whether i seem weak to others or what-so-ever.

as pointed out, it is definite that we new coaches from NTU and SMU are pressured to perform. come on, coaches there can be as young as 14 -16 years old, and they are performing well, so shouldn't us, as elder kids than them, perform at least just as well? at least we still lie within the children/teenagers/young_adults' age catergory and know how to deal with kids. but should parents with children know just as well, if not better? then how come the new adult coaches do not feel as welcoming as the teen coaches? well at least i sense that adult dictatorialship on me. like for example, although this chap had the experience of a camp as a participant before this, we are both new coaches. but during activities, this chap (and some other adult chaps) have this : 'oh what u did is wrong' thing abt me. yeah yeah, i admit my mistake and am v willing to change IF i am wrong. and adults, in correcting others, please do not make the same mistake yourself just within seconds of correcting others. and what more absurd is that upon clarification with the PD, i realised that iM NoT wrong. grown adult with kids. typical. and what i realised about this group of older new-coaches is that they like to label things as theirs that we cannot touch them. sigh.

it does seem that i observe coaches more than the kids. well of course, kids are more innocent. they dont need much cracking to enter in, you just need to have the right set of skills to interact and play around with them to get them to open up. it justifies that i need to observe adults more as i need to learn coaching skills and techniques from them. which also explains that if i were to write review for coaches instead of the children in the camp, i will be able to write more readily. oOops >.<

in a nutshell, the experience is really worth it and i definitely do not regret going for it. i strive to improve much much more in the next camp, and i really hope that i wont die from the next 2 consecutive camps iM taking. oh shit, how come i have a bad feeling that it will be extremely exhausting. XD

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