"I believe in being fully present," Morrie said. "That means you should be with the person you are with. When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking."
"I am talking to you. I am thinking about you."
Morrie montioned for my hand, and as I gave it to him, I felt a surge of guilt. Here was a man who, if he wanted, could spend every waking moment in self-pity, feeling his body for decay, counting his breaths. So many people with far smaller problems are so self-absorbed, their eyes glaze over if you speak for more than thirty seconds. They already have something else in mind - a friend to call, a fax to send, a lover they're daydreaming about. They only snap back to full attention when you finish talking, at which point they say "Uh-huh" or "Yeah, really" and fake their way back to the moment.
We are great at small talk: "What do you do?" "Where do you live?" But really listening to someone - without trying to sell them something, pick them up, recruit them, or get some kind of status in return - how often do we get this anymore?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Ninth Tuesday We Talk About How Love Goes On
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